Not Alone!

 14th Aug 2021

As stated yesterday, I was suffering from anxiety, mental trauma, anger, frustration, and an immense amount of stress for the past few weeks, because of several obstacles in my Ph.D. pursual. Be it the thesis research topic, objectives and research gap, be it departmental and college politics, be it resource deficits and people's attitude, be it lack of significant inputs from the desired people, collaboration possibilities or efforts, be it careless irritating corrupt attitude of institutional employees, who have taken their job for granted and are misusing their position for executing even the smallest of tasks, everything seemed extremely triggering and frustrating for me. 

Pursuing a Doctorate degree, especially from India, and that too in Mechanical Engineering with Manufacturing specialization, and with the kind of people involved, seemed to be the worst decision of my life. It involves and requires the ability to deal with extremely high amounts of frustration, politics, meanness, competition, jealousy, ego clashes, gender biases, nervous breakdowns, insults, and whatnot. Unless you are not pursuing it in your desired favorable domain, and not being supported by the intended and required people, the ride isn't going to be a roller coaster, happy, and blissful one.

I was almost on the verge of COMPLETE breakdown and was giving thoughts to leaving this shitty place, going far away from these shitty people, not giving a f**** to this Degree or career, and enjoying my "comfort" zone of being with parents, and being showered by their pamper, shielded concerns, and love. 

But that is not how you face the real world, right?

Reality is bitter and tough. You cannot deal with it with the help of parents' shield, pamper, or love.

That is not what our "mythological" warriors and famous personalities taught us. That is not how legends are made. Giving up with lost self-esteem and confidence can never be an option, right?

So, I fight!

As taught by Captain America. 

Yes, I fight! I can do this all day!

Talking to people sometimes does really helps a lot. And you got to do that with the right people whom you can trust, who can show you the correct path, who have walked down that lane and found their way out, who has the ability to inspire, and not frustrate you, who can calm you down, either directly or indirectly, and fill you with positivity.

I learned that this time. I talked regarding these issues, with the right seniors. Thanks to almighty God, that I have been lucky in this part, to have extremely kind-hearted and wise seniors. I am highly grateful to God for constantly sending the right people as saviors in the right moments. 

Be it my conversations and received suggestions from Prasad Sir, Ram sir, Kanak Sir, Rajan Sir, Evenmore Sir, Ambrish Sir, or Atul Sir. I am highly grateful to God, that he sent them during these moments, to inspire, guide, enlighten me with wisdom and the correct path. I am highly thankful. 

Prasad Sir advised to enjoy and explore this journey, learn new things, explore new areas, and be more positive, rather than whining.

Ram sir taught me to be fast-paced, sincere, and more active on my part, and the results will surely follow. 

Kanak sir's contributions are uncountable. He is the closest I have here, from DIAT. He taught me that everyone is going through the same kind of scenario and battling their way out. So I also have the capability to find a way. Hence, it is not worthy to worry or procrastinate. He taught me to be more positive, patient, and disciplined with work.

With Rajan sir, I just had one conversation yesterday. And it was quite an eye-opening and directional one. The kind of clarity, positivity, patience, and approach he has in life is pretty inspiring. I am overwhelmed by his knowledge of life, people handling, institutional hierarchy and system's reality, and mind's stability. 

Evenmore Sir has been my constant source of laughter, mental stability, calmness, and support. I am extremely grateful to him for his pious kindness, guidance, and friendship. I always stay in huge awe of his ability to learn and handle these issues positively. He is one of the most positive, and intelligent people I have met here.

Ambrish Sir is the most hardworking, and talented person, I have met in this place. Despite the huge amount of hurdles in his path, since last four years, his ability to stay patient, sincere, and hardworking has surely inspired me a lot. The amount of knowledge he possesses in his domain is simply unbelievable and unparalleled. 

Atul sir's dedication, everlasting smile, hard work, sincerity, positive approach to work, and life has immensely inspired me. He seems to be in a race of his own. He is living life from moment to moment, making everyday progress, and currently, he is in the best state, and shape of his career. With everything proceeding smoothly through his hard work and dedication, be it his seminars, research work, publications, etc. he is progressing with a great attitude and pace. He is inspirational. 

Hence, I am extremely grateful to God for sending these saviors, directly as well as indirectly in my life for the right kind of motivation, and inspiration. 

Last but not the least, I am extremely overwhelmed, obliged, grateful to have the best mother, best father, and the best girlfriend in this world. I couldn't have withstood this life without their support, love, prayers, and care. I can be an immature kid, I know for being frustrated, mentally unstable, angry, and ungrateful on many instants. However, I can not be ignorant of their contributions, love, and support. The mode of mental stability and bliss is going to be imbibed through constant reminders of gratitude, which I am willing to master through dedicated practice. 

Finally, Thank you, God, for everything. I will always be indebted, obliged, and grateful to you.

Thank You!!!